A parliamentary watchdog has called for an 'obesity Tsar' to tackle the explosion of fat children. Yes, every year over a hundred fat children explode from overeating, and the Government has finally decided to something about it. However is a Tsar really what we need? Do we want to see after a couple of years a bloody uprising, fat children being rolled into the Tsar's palace and his family being killed, only to be replaced by a new Socialist Dictator, who says he will redistribute food to those who want it, whilst secretly betraying his Communist ideals, and keeping all the food to himself? I think not.
The solution however is obvious.
We attach fat children to the front of our cars and make them run. Not only do we turn our children into lean, mean, Olympic winning machines, but we also beat climate change by getting rid of fossil fuels. I can't imagine why this hasn't already been done.